"Would you like a bag?", part II

An old man's response, this afternoon at work.

"Noooo ...
He looks at the bag he's carrying, then decisively, in quick succession:
"Yes. No.
A pause ensues which, in any other circumstances, would mark him out as a fine comedian, then (mumbling):
"Yes, put it in a bag."

One of these years I've got to write a play about working in a record shop. The amount of material I've got is staggering!